ManUP! Blog
These blogs are for you…teen guys who are looking for encouragement as you walk this journey of love & relationships. If you need us, we’re here. Just shoot us an email or a text @ 417-200-INFO.
Lines in the Sand
Remember when you were a kid and you were challenging someone else. You’d take your toe and draw a line on the ground and say, “I dare you to step across this line.” In your journey to ManUP, you are going to have to draw some lines in the sand. You are going to have to stand your ground when people cross those lines.
The word we use for these lines is boundaries. Let me start by telling you what scares me about you setting boundaries. Most of us want to know how far is too far! Well, if you’re looking to draw your line in the sand, right at the line of “going too far,” you are setting yourself up to fail. You need to draw your line in the sand with some “wiggle room”. Maybe the question you ought to be asking yourself is, “How much of me can I save for marriage?” This kind of question helps us draw a better line in the sand. This type question allows us some “room for error”.
Now, when you were a kid and someone “crossed the line,” the fight was on! They were in your space, you dared them, and they came across anyway. Now you’re fighting mad! You will need to feel the same way about the lines that you draw for yourself to be a man! There will be those that try to “cross your lines” and get in your space! Don’t let it happen! Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Let them know that they are crossing lines that you don’t want them to cross. Be firm. Be willing to fight for yourself and your manhood. Defend your man card like it means something. Remind them, I decided to ManUP, and I’m not going to do that anymore.
Finally, if you can’t get them out of “your space” by yourself, don’t be afraid to ask for help. (Be sure to read my last blog on Accountability.) The truth is, we were all made to live in relationships, and none of us are an island. We need to surround ourselves with people who have the same goals and dreams we have and don’t mind butting into our business when they see us making a mistake. Find yourselves some warriors who will stand with you when you draw that line!
Good luck and enjoy the journey – it’s gonna take you the rest of your life to get there! Know that there are those of us who have gone before you, we’ve survived the teenage years, and we’re here to help answer questions. If you have a question, please, let us know. Remember – leaders are learners so keep learning your way through.
By Greg Spink – VR Team Member
Leaders are Learners
It doesn’t seem like that long ago I was where you guys are right now – in high school counting down the days to graduation and being done with school – at least high school. I went straight from high school to college and started counting down the days to the end of my college career. I hated being a student. I couldn’t wait to get to a place where I wouldn’t have to read any more senseless books, write any silly reports or learn how to pass this test instead of learning the material on the test. I thought the whole thing was crazy. I was ready to get out of school and go to work where I could be done with all of that stuff.
News flash! If you want to be more than an hourly employee that does just enough to get by, you will never stop learning. You will find out that you went to school through 2nd grade to learn to read, and from that point on, you will read to learn the rest of your life.
So, you’ve taken your Man Card and you’re asking – what do I do now? What’s the next step in this journey I’m on to MANUP? Well, I hate to tell you this, but there’s no way we had enough time in a day to tell you all there is to tell you. In fact, if we had a week, a month or even a year, it wouldn’t be enough. You see, those of us who mentored your groups, taught your classes or shared our stories have been on a LIFELONG journey to get where we are. We are always reading, listening and learning more and more about being a man.
One of your next steps will be finding some resources that will help you in your journey to be a man. I have some of my favorites that I’m willing to share with you – would love for you to find some favorites and share them with everybody else. Here are a couple of books to help you get started. Once you’ve read these, find some others and let us know what you’re reading and what you like. Good luck on your journey men!
· Every Man’s Battle – Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker
· Wild at Heart – John Eldridge
If you’re not offended by using God to help you discover your manhood I highly recommend Sex God by Rob Bell.
Enjoy the journey – it will take a lifetime to complete.
By Greg Spink – VR Team Member
Accountability
When I was in 8th grade and still thinking you settled all matters with your fist, I was at the arcade with a buddy named Brett. One of the guys from school I didn’t like was there playing games. I don’t remember who started it (which probably means I did) but I knew who was going to finish it. This guy was in the 8th grade, hanging out at the arcade with a cigar in his mouth (it wasn’t lit) but thinking he was cool. We started exchanging words, I hit him about three times and the fight was over. We all got kicked out of the arcade and while walking home, this car pulls up with the guy I just fought and about four others. They holler at me that this guy wants a rematch. I know that we’re getting ready to get jumped by the five of them, so I give Brett a heads up by asking him if he’s ready for this. He says he guesses so.
We square off and after I hit the guy once he goes to the ground and I dive on top of him to finish it off. I never got to hit him again. The next thing I know, two guys are holding me and the third is punching me. When it was all over I was “licking my wounds” I looked at Brett who didn’t have a scratch on him. I asked him, “Dude, what just happened?” He said, “I saw it coming, they all four jumped ya!”
You saw it coming and you did nothing? You let four guys jump your friend and you stood by and watched. You didn’t even take a single punch? What kind of friend was this guy? He’s not a friend I wanted with me when I was in trouble that was for sure!
The truth is, I’m bigger today and I’m smarter today. Today I don’t have to settle things with my fists, and I don’t lose any sleep over getting jumped by four guys a couple of years older than me! I do however; have the same expectations from my friends.
Here’s what I’m telling you. You need friends who will jump in when you are in trouble! If they see you making poor choices or doing something that puts you in jeopardy of losing your Man Card – they step in and help you out. They won’t stand idly by and watch you get beat by the world of bad choices. They are willing to roll their sleeves up and jump in to help you out and you feel the same way about them. We call it accountability. If you’re a leader than you are a learner. You know the damaging effects of crossing boundaries and pornography. Now, you’ve got to surround yourself with friends who you give permission to ask you the tough questions. To make sure you are staying on the path of being a REAL man. So, MANUP and get some real men around you who want for you the same things in life you want. Go ahead, give them permission to ask the tough questions.
Written by Greg Spink, VR Team Member
Checkmate
Have you ever played Chess? It’s a game where you have to learn to think several moves ahead while at the same time anticipating what your opponent is going to do. The object of the game is to force your opponent into a place where you can control their every move and eventually take their king.
Several of you are asking us, what’s our next move? What do we need to anticipate? What do we do now that we’ve decided to MANUP? Those are great questions. This blog is designed to help you plan out your next steps, to anticipate what the people who want you to fail are trying to do and allow you to dictate what the next moves are by them and you. Ultimately you will win more than a game – you’ll be a man!
Good luck on your journey. If there’s anything we can do to help, be sure to let us know! It’s time to play the game – this time it’s the game of life. So, plan ahead, anticipate other people’s moves and put yourself in a position to win. Be the man!
Written by Greg Spink, VR Team Member
