Date smart
Dating…one of the most mystifying struggles of the teen life. In their book, The 10 Commandments of Dating, Ben Young and Dr. Samuel Adams teach us a little bit about how to making dating work for you! Here’s a little bit of what they say…
Commandment #1: Thou Shalt Get a Life
How to prepare yourself: figure out who YOU are FIRST!
- Get grounded
- Get grouped
- Get goal-oriented
- Get giving
- Get growing
Commandment #2: Thou Shalt Use Your Brain
Always Avoid…
- Emotion-driven Dating
- Hormone-driven Dating
- Pseudo-Spirit-driven Dating
- Don’t shut your brain off when dating – you’ll need it!
Commandment #3: Be Equally Yoked
Avoid Unequally Yoked Dating
- The Mother Teresa Relationship – No missionary dating
- The Exotic Relationship
- The Sugar Daddy Relationship
- The Dennis Rodman Relationship
Your date needs to compliment you and lift you up, not drag you down!
Commandment #4: Take it Slow
Slow-Motion Strategies
- Make your first date short
- Don’t volunteer too much info
- Delay physical affection
- Stay connected with friends
- Don’t mention the “M” word
- Just because you “feel” like you’re in love doesn’t mean you are…so slow down!
Commandment #5: Set Boundaries
No one should push you around
- Your MIND is yours
- Your EMOTIONS are yours
- Your BODY is yours
Commandment #6: Save Sex
How Do you do that? (When it seems so hard…)
- Choose the BEST
- Receive Forgiveness
- Set clear boundaries
- Stay accountable
Commandment #7: Don’t Play House
The Real Reasons People Live Together before Marriage
- Fear
- Sex
- Manipulation
- Immaturity
Commandment #8: Fight Fairly
Top Harmful Responses
- Peace at all costs
- Win/lose (defensiveness)
- You don’t count (invalidation)
- All-out war (intensification)
Commandment #9: Don’t Ignore Warnings
The Seven Deadly Signs
- Abuse, Addictions, Infidelity,
- Irresponsibility (Peter Pan)
- How they treat others,
- Emotional baggage, Denial
Commandment #10: Choose Wisely
Hints for Discerning Character
- Crisis reveals character
- Who are you when no one is looking
- Prior Dating determines patterns of behavior
Dating is a tough thing to figure out, but there are lots of GREAT resources out there to help you along the way. For more info, check out the whole book along with many others out there!
Here at CI, we want to do everything we can to help you as you make some of the most critical decision of your life. If you have questions, comments, concerns, happy thoughts…please email Melissa at melissaw@lifechoices4states.org.